Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
