You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
