I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
