Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
