They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
