i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize