Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
