i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize