i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
