oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
