I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
