butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
