The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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