i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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