I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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