margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
