All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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