they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
