The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
