i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
