Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
