i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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