Where is the hickey?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
