I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
