Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
