New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Randomize
