Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
