office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
