I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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