Do vagina's smell?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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