I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
