It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
