I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize