Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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