don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
