I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
