dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
