You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
