So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
