I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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