I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
