I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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