My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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