I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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