We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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