I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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