I haven't been this sober since birth.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize