Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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