i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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