I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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