She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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