If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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