It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
