So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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