I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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