so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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