is your mom at the bar?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
