I want to make a zoo with you.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize