thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
