when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
