Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Drake has all the answers
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
