it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
